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CityPrincess: Going down on him

We Should've Had 'The Talk' First

I upset a guy when I said ‘condom or nothing’.

I was flirting with this guy for a little while. We ended up kissing then one thing led to another and we both wanted to go further.

But we hadn't had ‘the talk' about condoms.

So when he suggested we give each other oral sex first, the thought hit me: I can’t go down on him without a condom! For starters, I didn’t know him well enough. And there’s a small but real risk of contracting an STI - even HIV - through the mucous membranes of the mouth and throat if he is infected.

But guys are sensitive about their appendage. They want you to be gentle. They want you to want to get up close and personal with Mr. Penis.

I just couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to tell him it was ‘condom or nothing.’ It was awkward. I remember asking if he had a condom through a breathless sigh as he nibbled my neck.

He said: “But we're only having oral!” Great. So here was a guy who thought that oral sex was totally safe. I forced a giggle. “Yeah, but it's still just better to use a condom...”

“But why?” he asked, giving me a confused look. “Do you think I'm carrying something?”

“No! It's just better to be safe!”

He was upset. He didn't have a condom and neither did I. All this talk had killed our sexy mood. I was upset too. And I felt a bit silly. But what was I supposed to do? Go down on him and risk getting herpes in my throat? Worse: HIV? No way! That wasn't an option! It wasn't worth the risk!

Oral sex can be fun, but it’s still risky. Make it safe by using a condom. CityPrincess learned it’s best to have the condom talk before things get hot.

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