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Content appropriate for readers 15 and older

Are You Feeling Horny?

How to Handle Sexual Feelings

Thinking about sex is part of growing up. But feeling sexy or horny doesn’t mean you have to have sex! You cannot jump into bed with everyone you feel attracted to. You would risk not only your reputation - but pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) including HIV.

Here are some ways to handle sexual feelings:

Masturbate: Masturbation is the ultimate in safe sex. You can do this as often as you like as long as you keep it private.

Distract yourself:It may be easier to avoid the things that get you sexually excited. Don’t expose yourself to sexual images (porn) or let yourself drink too much. A sensible attitude towards your life will help you keep your sexual feelings in check. Talking to an adult you trust can help as well.

Set sex rules: Do you know what your own sexual rules are? Have you decided how far you are willing to take things with another person? You set the rules. Here are some examples of rules: I stop at kissing. I always keep my underwear on. I don’t have sex if I am drunk. I never have sex without a condom. I don’t sleep with a guy until we both have HIV tests. I will wait to have sex once I am married. It’s your body and you can decide what you feel comfortable doing. If you have set yourself a clear limit, then you’ll know when to say ‘no’.

Fool around in other ways: You can be close, kiss, cuddle and have sexual play without having penetrative sex with any lover. You can choose to masturbate, or masturbate with each other, give each other orgasms and have fun without worrying. Penetrative sex has risks that can change your life - like a pregnancy. Focus on the other important things, like finishing school so you can support yourself and later, your family.

Everyone thinks about sex, and during puberty it can feel like it's the only thing on your mind! Don't become obsessed with it and lose sight of your education or your life plan. If you are having sex, set rules for yourself and stick to them.

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